| discount gigolos |
[May. 5th, 2008|10:15 pm] |
I never thought I'd try to open a small business, but today I think I had the best idea ever. Here's the promo I'm already envisioning:
Have you straight women and gay men out there ever looked at the website of an escort agency and was burned by their outrageous rates? Well, I've been there too, and I'm here to bring you high gigolo quality that still fits your budget. There's no good reason why the closeted Republican Congressmen and aging Hollywood stars should have all the fun. We're not living in seventeenth century France. As an American, you have the right to have male prostitutes who are as readily available as a home computer or a cell phone. Generations of soldiers have given their lives over the years for nothing less.
We here at the Discount Escort Agency have scoured the streets, hostels, college dorms, YMCAs, and Match.com for men who are undoubtedly up to code but, because of some insignificant flaw, have been turned down by your stuck-up, elitist escort agencies. These are flaws like a missing tooth or a mutilated finger here, a meth addiction there, maybe even a slight tendency to spout out Neo-Fascist rhetoric at inopportune moments, but, let's face it, we're probably your only shot at scoring a hottie. And whatever your tastes or orientation you will be satisfied by our selection, I gaurantee it.
Of course, not only am I providing a service that I needed on many a cold, lonely night, but I'll have a clientele that can't afford to have me killed! |
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| Comments: |
I think it's a workable business model. They'd be like the factory seconds that they sell at the outlet shops. Sure, he's got a clubfoot, but look at those abs.
If I had a nickel for everytime I've heard that...
Hell, I'll be your first ho. Pimp me out, dammit! :)
--m4
But she committed suicide. ;) If you believe the official reports.
And remember, you're not a pimp, you're a misseur.
You should have a web form that lets the client check off the deformities they are willing to accept: "Missing teeth, yes; missing penis, no; burn scars, no; indeterminate gender, yes..." Then cross-reference your employee database, and everyone's happy!
And just think, one lucky client might get a guest slot on "Intervention." It's like a prize in the crack pipe.
I can see the testimonials "Usually only the head pastor of a megachurch could afford to be busted with a male hustler, now I, a simple Youth Pastor can too! Call today!" | |
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